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Sunday, December 6, 2009

HR - 'Human Resource' or 'Harassing Resource'?

Bangalore: Some call it 'Hardly Required', while others prefer 'Harassing Resource'. What are we talking about? HR = once known as 'Human Resources'. With changing times, the Human got lost somewhere and the Resources are no more accessible. We've all had our rather unpleasant experiences (99% of the time) with this species that every company hires to bring some method to madness.


We've all waited with baited breath for that one call or one email. But they just don't bother to convey the response - especially if it's negative. Here's a lowdown by iDiva on some common excuses, statements, reasons whatever - used by HR professionals, and what they really mean so you are not left hoping and anticipating for that response for days and even months sometimes.

1. We'll get back to you / We'll call you for the next round
This is that one thing, which is inscribed on each and every HR textbook in college, we are sure. And we are also sure there are special classes on voice modulation and acting, when it comes to saying it. Each one of them practised repeating this one line again and again, even in their dreams. And every successful HR professional has scored a 100/100 on this one.

What it means: You hear this, and it's all over for you. They just forgot to add that 'never' before the 'get back to you'. Never ever even in your most optimistic dreams, expect a positive... sorry... any response from this person ever in your life.

Piece of advice: Move on. There are better pastures to be captured.

2. We are waiting for the top management's decision / The decision maker is not in town
Wow! What a way to shoo away a candidate.

What it means: It means there is no top management. And if there is, they don't even know you exist. This HR professional wanted to break the cliche (refer statement no 1), and came up with this one.

Piece of advice: Google the company's CEO/VP/Director's email id, and send an email to this HR person, putting all the biggies on cc. You might just get someone fired. Revenge was never this sweet.

3. The position is on hold
This one's a classic rage this season. Its origin lies in recession, and this one statement has been ruling the recruitment industry for the last couple of years. You usually get to hear this one after 10 calls to the HR department.

What it means: Forget that you even went to this company for an interview. Put on hold all the dreams you ever had to join them.

Piece of advice: Please move on. It's the classic 'The End' with a different sound.

We are sure there are a lot more innovative words of wisdom some of you would have been subjected to. Leave a comment and share yours with us. Help our readers overcome their professional illusions and move on to a fresh interview with a smile.

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